Sunday, October 28, 2007


I fill,
lines upon lines,
with words,
expressive narrative ...
like pleas,
from eyes,
beseeching begging ...
but wont,
find meaning,
in this,

Thursday, October 11, 2007


The Road from Ignominy

Where to from this ?,
now ?

Is this the end of the road,
or merely a crossroad ?

Where do I go ?
How do I know ?

Where the wind blows,
or hopes beckon ?

To lost love,
or something anew ?

Where are the answers ?
Did Pandora know ?



With and Without...

With all that is better left unsaid,
and that which is not,
here is a tribute without words.

for a few to perceive,
fewer to appreciate,
none to relate.

it is not always the reality,
but a choice,
often how I act,
seldom the feeling.

i am indeed the master,
the master of my destiny,
none other,
no other ...

ever !



and because...

...and because that stained glass is no more,
that view of the world can never be,
reality filtering in without barriers,
cannot help but gray be...

a call to awaken,
a nudge to perceive,
all that is,
and has always been...

that which is shattered can hardly be,
but for the stained sliver,
but for the stained sliver,
streaked with my life,

that which I refuse to see,
with my eyes tight shut,
what without ...
my stained glass window...

... my view of that which will never be.



Today I feel normal...

...much like a fish out of water,
anxious and desperate to drown.

This coin has the same two sides.



Today I feel restless...

...not unlike an errant cloud
sailing across the azure blue,
untethered, homeless...

seeking a reason, a person
a form to fill,
radiance to haze,
blur, distend...

or a peak to ascend from,
change form,
fill another...

be a purpose,
a hope,
a dream,

a reason to live.

merely exist or
merely cease.



Today I feel hopeless...

for there is neither a song nor a thought that can bring peace,
no place, no person,
no space, no reason...

no flickering glimpse of fleeting happiness in another can,
will bring happiness,

and without reason are many days a born,
lived without happiness,
meeting a climax in the drudgery,
in the monotony,
that this troubled mind weaves.

hope as peace ceases to exist,
consumed in an all encompassing despair.

feeling despicable with pity, self
and seeking purpose in the darkness
the darkness that is this,
this mind ...

a destiny unto its own dreary end,

seeking absolution.


Sunday, October 7, 2007


did you think I would remember ?
that smell,
like on one unwashed,
the pungence,
days hence ...

did you think I would remember ?
that look,
that piercing glance,
the ignoring guise,
and feigned ignorance ...

did you think I would remember ?
those prying hands,
those hurtful actions,
that awkward fumbling,
like one rabid ...

I do ,
painfully, vividly, and
with a shiver I give in,
to those memories,
those nightmares ...

Yes ! I lose,
but not for long ...